Let hope arise

Every day for my commuting, I take the train to Cardiff, the capital where I work. There is small tunnel that the train need to go through before arriving Newport station. Now this tunnel is particularly dark and at times it seems that it is never-ending. I believe it is about more than two minutes long and sometimes I get up my seat when we get in the tunnel. I do this as I know the tunnel indicates that I will be in Newport soon. I go wait by the door so as soon as the train stop, I can get off and go home.
I don’t necessarily like the tunnel because of its darkness but I am also aware that the tunnel means that I am reaching my destination. And right after the dark, there is light. the tunnel always come to an end. This tunnel is an analogy for the reality of waiting in the dark for the light at the end. There is hoping that the end is near and the light will burst through.
Hope: The desire, aspiration, expectation, anticipation for things to happen. 
Last year, I lost hope.
I was so down, I didn’t know how to get up. It felt like there was no desire to continue and I actually believe that this was the end of me. It felt like the tunnel had no end.
I slightly try to move back up but I was crippled and still hesitant to go on. At the beginning of this year, I felt the heaviness again. I think there must be something about January that just make feel tired. But in a moment I thought to myself that this year had to be better than last year. I cannot repeat last year. There is a need for change or else I will not survive.
This was hard to keep up as I got another bad new in February that shocked me so much I felt like again there is no way out this. I even consider quitting everything.
Then He chased me down in the tunnel.
Through the voices of many, he reminded that one of the reason I couldn’t get back up is mostly because I was looking way too much at the darkness and my own strength   Even when I was thinking about the past, I was paying more attention to the things that brought me pain than the blessings and opportunities that helped me. There were downs but there were also ups. There were moments were I felt low but there were also where he carried me. 
I realised that the issue was not that I will find myself in tunnels but the fact that i was staying in the dark. without any desire to move. I had made the pain my home so much that I could not see that the tunnel is temporary and that when I will come at the end of it, there will be light again. That is where I lost my hope. I refused to believed that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
In perspective, I had to do the same thing I do when I take my train. I had to stand up, ready to go when the train stop at my destination. For some reason, I always believe that the train driver will get me to Newport, so why is it so hard for me to believe that God who is the conductor of the train of my  life, will get me through the tunnel and to my destination.
So it took some tears, some conversations, some preaching, soul searching and prayers but then it happened…It’s like I opened my eyes in the dark and intentionally stood up. I believed again.
My mindset did a total 360.
The same way I used to think about the worst that can happen.
I will think about the opposite.
Instead of thinking about what could go wrong, I am going to think about what could go right.
Hope is always born in the dark.
I will now stand in a position of readiness.
Even when you do not see the light yet, you have to believe that it will come, even when you do not know how or when.
It will come.
Let hope arise.

Suit up

Hello there

Now although we are still in February and temperatures went really low this month Spring fashion has taken over the shop already. I believe people are so eager for the weather to change. And personally, I am tired of all the layering and cannot wait to stop wearing tights.

So as anyone who loves fashion I have been checking my favourite sites for new items. One thing that I have been loving for the new season are suits.

Now I am an assistant manager in a law firm so my wardrobe is 50% of formal wear and being the fashion lover that I am I do not want to just have the classic black attire. I think it is important to have a bit of fun with your outfit. So it was quite interesting seeing the different shapes and colours that are out there.

Let me share with you my findings and I hope you will be inspired to suit up fashionably.






New Look


What’s in my bag

Here’s a typical fashion blog

Just like most women, I carry a bag where I try to have all my life necessities. It is not an easy task but we all do it. I do have different types of bags that I use: big bag for work and a smaller one for casual outings. For the purpose of this post, I am focusing on my small Zara city bag.

So here’s what I carry around:


This is just a silver IPhone 6s that I am using since last year.


They are currently grouped on a big keyring just to make it easier for me to find in the bag

Wallet/card wallet

As I am try to embrace minimalist, I ditched the traditional big wallet and just have a card wallet where I keep my main bank cards. I have put all my loyalty cards on a keychain at the moment. This makes it easier to have less clutter in the bag. Another alternative is to download store apps where your card is registered and you can shop and collect point on the go.

Coin purse

I do not really carry cash but let’s face it sometimes you just need some coins. So I have a cute pink velvet round purse for the odd pennies.

Pencil case

This is just a small one to keep a couple of pens, pencil and highlighter because you never know when you need to write something down.

Mini Make up bag that contain

mirror, lip balm, lipstick, blot powder, concealer, hand cream, hair bands, bobby pins and a roller perfume


You do not want to sneeze and make your hands dirty


It is true that it is not always sunny in the UK, but sometimes the sun comes to say hello.

An Umbrella

Once again, with the UK weather, you always have to carry one

A book

As much as we have a lot of ways to entertain ourselves with our phone, having a book is just the best way to pass time. At least for me it is.



Planning 2018


Three weeks already in the new years…so what has been happening?

Well even though we may feel a little January blues, the beginning of the year can be a good time to refocus. I am not trying to bore you with resolutions even though I have nothing against them, I support anyone who want to make positive changes in their life, but i have tried to implement new intentions.

And since i do not want to repeat what happens last year, I want to start on a different note. I am determined to make 2018 a better year. I may not know what the future holds but i can embrace the journey in a more positive manner.

I have goals and I intent to make most of them happen. I believe the best way to do it is to specify them, install a plan to make them happen and keep a reminder to motivate myself to make them happen.

I was off work for the first week of the year so I took this time to make a two things I always wanted to try: a vision board and a bullet journal.

So I just wanted to to do a little post about these two. I am a visual person and i love writing, doing these two really help me.

One thing i know I will always go after is growth and I try to use everything that can help grow more and better. I just want to be the best and authentic version of myself.

Vision board

Vision boards are simply a collection of pictures and quotes. It is a great way to motivate yourself through visualisation. They are a good way to remind yourself of your goals. you can even have an electronic one. You just put on it images that represent your goals and where you want to see yourself at the end of the year

You can also add quotes and words that mean something significant to you and that you need more of this year

I have categorised them to make sure I have to make my goals more specific. I have: career, health, self, money, relationships and spiritual. I am still working on the board  but i have made a life map to brainstorm what i want to concentrate on this year.

Bullet Journal

Bullet journal are notebooks system that includes planning, list making, doodling and calendar. It is a mash up of a diary and calendar.

Nowadays there are companies that actually put out those types of diary such the happiness planner, for you to buy. They have already templates and list ready for you to fill. But you can get creative and make your own. In this case, the possibilities of lists and templates are endless. My journal includes:

  • a purchase wish list for this year
  • monthly calendar
  • my written vision board
  • a mission statement
  • a life map
  • a bucket list
  • rules you want to live by in 2018

Pinterest is a great place to get ideas and inspiration and templates layout for journal pages. If you take inspirations there, you will notice that a lot of those journal examples have beautiful handwriting.  But I will say, this is your journal and therefore your aesthetic.

To finish, i quickly want to share with you some of my intentions for this year:

Let go of overthinking and worrying

Practice gratefulness

Speak Love, Speak Hope

Explore, discover and learn

Be consistent, Be intentional

Smiles, Hugs and LaughsLess TV, more Books


Fashion Files: Winter coats

Hey there

So this week is a fashion post 🙂

I have not done one in a while and since I have been thinking about buying a new winter coat, I just wanted to share some of my online wishlist. In a perfect world, I would like to buy them all but my wallet does not allow such thing. But one can dream, right?

The temperatures have been dropping and although most of the UK weather is rainy, the wind has been crazy these days. So it is really important to have an appropriate cover up. It is really hard to stay stylish during cold weather but it is more important to keep warm. So some of these coats will be maybe more on the ‘looking good” side,  and some will be more practical but I love them all.


1.  The Really Stylish Camel (Topshop)


2.  The Puffer (New Look)


3. The Hooded (New Look)

4. The Parka (Asos)


5. The Faux Fur (New Look)


6. The All Black (River Island)



Fighting Discontentment


Unhappiness caused by the failure of one’s hopes desires, or expectations

So the root of my pain this year is mostly due to discontentment. I woke at the beginning of this year angry that my life did not turn out how i thought and hope it will turned out. It looks like I tried really hard to built my life and I failed.

I got discouraged and wanted to give up.

One of the thing that can spurred up discontentment is the sense of entitlement

It happens to a lot of us and in a sense it can be understood.

We all have dreams, desires and aspirations and in a sense we all fight to get what we want.

But what do we do when we fail and when the dream is not fulfilled.

How do we react when the answer is no or…wait (an answer i am way too familiar with).

But sometimes because we feel deserve certain things, we decided we need to have them now. Especially in our modern microwave society we want everything we want it now. We tried our best to get rid of the concept of patience in our every day life. Our smartphones allows us to facilitate so many aspects of our life. Google gives answers to most of our questions. You order something you, can get it the day after. You want to book a ticket to see the world, you can just do it. It’s all about having your way and having it fast.

We are also more and more subject to compare each others because of social media and the internet. We are so much into others people’s lives, it is so easy to look at ourselves and feel like we are missing out. It is so easy to feel: ‘why am i not getting the same as the rest? Why am i not there yet?’

So we get frustrated and the danger of discontentment is that it can lead to bitterness pretty quickly.

So how can we deal and fight discontentment?

Changing our perspectives

The reason why the concept of positivity is so popular is mostly because when we get hit in life , our first reaction is being down; which is normal. But the thing is we let our emotions get the best of us and our judgement get clouded.

If I have a bad day i can feel like I have a bad life,

or I have a bad year so the next year will get worse.

I did not succeeded this time so I will never succeed.

I lost this game so I will lose the season.

This person hurt me so everybody else will hut me


One of the favourite things I heard in a preaching came from Christine Caine, an Australian evangelist speaker. She said: ‘Do not let any thing that has happened to you be bigger than what Jesus has done for you.’

You have meaning and your life has meaning, despite the tragedies. We have to learn how to be grateful to change our perspective.

We have to look at the goodness in our life.

Learning how to be grateful is an exercise. You have to remind yourself constantly of your blessings. Truly, they are things now in you life right now that you did not used to have but you prayed and hope for them, and now you have them. But because you have the wrong perspective, you can take them for granted. Whether it is your health, your friends, your family, your job, your house, your talents etc…Someone, somewhere is even praying for what you have.

From time to time, sit down, think or even write the things in your life that you are grateful for, whether small or big. Remembers the answered prayers you had in the past.

Additionally we have to put to death comparison. I know this one is also hard.

But you know what they say: the grass is not necessarily greener else where.

As a matter of fact, we all go through things, but we just very smart at putting filters on our emotions and lives, just the same way we do with our Instagram photos. And as much as we are conditioned to think that life is a competition, it is not. Let’s not be jealous or envious of others just because they are doing something different than us. We tend to compare our chapter 20 with someone’s chapter 50. We look at our life and compare it with someone highlights’ reel on Facebook. These cannot really be compared. Let’s learn to rejoice with those who rejoice and help each other in our different races.

Leave others grass alone and water your own grass.

So in conclusion,

Mourn the life you wanted and embrace the life you have.

Embrace the mess and the good things.

It is your story.

You grew through the storms.

You learn through the painful moments.

Adversity built your character.

We will never have perfect lives but we all have things to be grateful for.

Let’s never strive for perfection, it’s not realistic…but let always look for progression.

You are not who you were a year ago, five years ago or ten years ago.

I had a plan…But God had another one and his plan prevailed.

His plan is good, and better than mine.

I won’t probably see it through the hard times but after the storms, I always see a bit clearer, and a bit better.

I can look back and realise the beauty in my life.

Rom 8:28


Update: At the moment…Resting and Reconfiguring

So the last post was really intense. It was also very real.

I have to admit this year and especially the last past three months really broke me and I went to a very dark place.

I am currently in a uncertain, transition and silent season in my life where I really do not know what God is doing in my life.

To say the least, 2017 is the year I got tired. I woke up at the beginning of this year thinking way too much about my life and the journey. I came up to the conclusion that things really did not turn out the way I wanted. I have now been in the UK for 14 years and I had this image of my life and what I wanted it to be. Believe me I fought really hard and tried really hard to create the life I wanted. There were so many barriers to conquer and so many ‘no’ or not now and at the end I did not conquer.

So disappointed, bitter, angry, emotional, frustrated, and weary, I kinda spiralled into unhealthy coping mechanisms. I just wanted to quit everything an give up.

I had so much expectations and none of them were met. I had not achieved any of my dreams and I got tired.

But even when I let go, God did not. Even when I get tired, he did not. I got reminded that when you get tired, it does not mean you should definitely give up every thing but you should actually rest.

So after really busy month of August, I took time to recharge.

I always feels like September is like the start of the year…It is the month academic year and fashion year start so I decide to do a bit of refocus and refreshing.

I had days of doing nothing.

I declutered my flat.

I reorganise my possessions.

I digitalise my important documents.

I download and discovered new music.

I deciding to re-think the way i spend my money.

I made a vision board.

And most importantly I rested.

In that resting, God spoke and showed me that this season of frustration had a purpose. God also showed me my heart.

Years ago in one on my lowest moment, God led me to Ez 36:26





The one thing that God always wants to work on is my heart. See God revealed to me that there were still a lot of darkness and brokenness in me and He cannot bring me to a new place before He heals me.

At first I got upset.

I resisted him.

I whined about the whole thing.

I fought him.

I even ignored him.

But his strong love pursued me.

He show me that this is how he loves.

He will rather frustrate me and delay me than letting my wounds grow deeper.

Because these wounds would have caused more damage to me and people in my life.

So I surrendered. I am going to rest a bit, sit at his feet and letting him healed me, with his love.